entry #149 - #150

today i am looking for the joy in my life after
a difficult week physically

1. when my son wakes up and just sits in his crib talking and
playing (this is a huge difference from his yelling for us)

2. the quiet moment that the 4 (5) of us shared after
nap time yesterday. kid's were still sleeping when my
hubby got home so we woke them up together. it was such
a moment that brought tears to my eyes. my anxieties
of the day of soon being a mother of 3 melted away

3. getting a huge portion of my to-do list done. feels good to
mark things off!

4. heat. hot bathes, heating pad, rice sock....

5. snuggling with my hubby and staying up and talking

6. getting a long walk in with my hubby this week thanks to
my grandma hanging out at the house

7. my husband's awesome job that allowed him to work
from home while i was having signs of early labor
earlier this week.

8. all the new words my son is saying daily and his
funny personality

9. crafting with my daughter

10. how quickly olivia has adopted my cleaning routine.
(quicker and better then her father) it's really quite
impressive for a child that use to hate cleaning up
anything. i'm so proud! and she's cleaned up the
living room before she goes to bed without me asking
a couple of times now. she's making having 3 children
soon, not so scary

entry #148

today i am grateful for....

1. my husband tackling bath time and bedtime so i
could run some errands last night

2. getting a lot more of my to-do's done

3. list making. helps me stay organized and less crazy

4. today being friday and that much closer to the weekend

5. my daughter cleaning up the living room two nights in
a row for no reason. she has the sweetest spirit. and both
nights she wasn't feeling well. i just wanna scoop her up
and never let her go.

entry #147

today I am reminded of the blessings in my life
through the little things...

1. snuggling in-between my kids on the couch right now
while they watch cartoons

2. how they both pick all the marshmallows out of their
lucky charms cereal and then sometimes eat the actual
cereal part.

3. liam grabbing my belly spontaneously and saying
'baby girl'... melts my heart.

4. getting out of having to super clean my whole house today
because my daughter has a fever and i get to just snuggle and
take care of her.

5. taking a walk last night and the kids stopping
to jump in piles of leaves.

the wonders of felt...

you have to check out this project a
fantastic mom made for her son's 1st birthday

i'll eat you up... i love you so...

he's my wild thing!

i bought this outfit from old navy
and 1/2 a yard of cream fleece from walmart

i took off the hood and the ears
i added a 3 inch piece of extra fabric to the
bottom of the hood and that extended to the front
on both sides for a chin strap then i put the
sticky velcro pieces on the ends of the extended pieces

i cut triangles from the wal-mart fleece and
joined ea. one to make cones which i then
attached on top of the hood where the
bear ears once were.
i just whip stitched around them.

to make a tail i'm going to cut out a
large triangle from the fleece and sew together
to make a large thin cone for a tail

this whole project cost me about $18.00 to make

entry #146

today i am thankful for...

1. finding my daughter a belle costume for 20$

2. finding the perfect little outfit to go with what i
made my nephew-to-be

3. having awesome kids to hang out with and
for experiencing more patience lately for the
times that it's not so awesome

4. sharing in my daughter's love for american girl
collections. my husband has been reading her my old
books and she is loving it

5. plain vanilla yogurt

entry #145

today i am blessed because....

1. after a rough night and morning, i got an extra hour of sleep
in because my son played in his crib for an hour! if you know him,
you understand why this is huge.

2. in reading birth books with olivia her only concern about the
whole thing is that the baby is being squished in there
right now and running out of room. so sweet!

3. my son says 'eeeewww' to anything dirty and it makes me
laugh. he's going nuts with these lady bugs.
he likes them if they're dead.

4. after 2 hours all together my husband made my back feel
better by patiently rubbing icy hot on it. he's seriously the best.
i don't know of any husband that would lovingly rub his wife's
back for as long as he does for me. thank you babe!

5. having a day to myself because the kids are going to grandma's
house and i get to visit with a friend and her
precious new baby. thank you mom!

entry #143 and #144

i have found grace in...

1. the beautiful day we are having today

2. the wonderful weekend we had with family and friends

3. my patient husband that takes care of me when i'm
expressing my pregnant discomfort

4. making it to where i am in this pregnancy without all
the issues i had with my other children

5. my love for writing. it helps me process my brain full of thoughts.

6. for being put into contact with such a wonderful midwife. i'm
loving this natural thing (so far). it just makes sense. why make
a big deal out of something so simple and natural?

7. planning out a family night for tonight with my hubby
while having our lunch chat with him. dinner and rock band!
(to our kids, that's a big deal as they are both future rockers)

8. all the little things i take for granted

9. laughing with my kids and being crazy

10. being connected with so many wonderful people that
all play a part in my life in some unique way

entry #142

1. my wonderful friend, hannah, for bringing over baby girl clothes
for us to use for Faye. we literally had nothing for a girl in this season.

2. craft night and conversation with some pretty awesome people
and sharing eachother's talents.

3. making my son's birthday invites ourselves with our own
printer and them turning out adorable! only spent 10 for stamps.
can't beat that!

4. my son's costume possibly working out. when i'm finished i'll post
a how to.

5. my dad fixing my door handle so i can now get out of the vehicle
without rolling my window down.

entry #141

the five things i'm grateful for today... and everyday....

our kids
our kids
our kids
our kids
our stinkin' cute kids...

modeling their new pj's....

they love their picture taken....

beauty...

momma's boy...

she's mastered the art of meditation...

and taught her brother...
he's got the humming down.


they are pretty cute and we're pretty blessed.
can't wait to see what faye looks like!

i'm pretty much expecting to see a
blonde-hair-blue-eyed beauty with a nutty personality
but you never know!

entry #140

About this time last year, looking at houses seemed only a dream that was impossible for us to reach. I saw this house online (well before this point last year) but never thought much of it. Then, one day, when I was praying about our future I felt the Lord saying to take another look at this house. So I did. I read the specs. Then I realized that this could quite possibly be the home we've wanted despite what the photos made it out to look. I showed Jess the online listing again and explained everything and he seemed more open to at least look at it.

We toyed with the idea of asking for a showing but knew we wouldn't be able to actually buy it for a few more months. Then, one night, Jess' brother's girlfriend (tiffany) mentioned that her mom worked for that particular realtor that held the listing. She got us in contact with her mom and we saw the house and immediately fell in love.

I started mapping out budgets and trying to see how or when we could afford a house. We decided it wasn't the right time and to focus on paying things off first and if the house was still there when we were ready then it'd be the right one.

It took what seemed like years to get to where we wanted to be (6mo to be exact) and believe it or not the house was still there! So we started to talk to banks and explore our borrowing options. We didn't find much that would work with our budget but I held out hope.

When the house was put on the market, about a year and a half before that, it was listed at
$125,000.00. When we were looking at it, it was listed at $121,000. Within a month the owner dropped it down to $119,800 then $114,500.00. It just kept looking better and better for us. But things weren't working out with the banks. We were discouraged.

We were close to trying out contract for deed (for i think $98,000.00) but didn't feel good about it but we knew we wanted the house. We were desperate. We found out at this point that we were pregnant with Faye. We were renting from my great-grandmother. The house we lived in was very nice but getting cramped with all our stuff and her stuff taking up most of the storage areas. We were blessed with the price of rent and the location to my husband's work but we just knew we needed a change and very soon.

Then something wonderful happened. We were told about FHA lending. We looked into and did all the paperwork. It took several weeks for us to even know a definite number we were approved for and when we found out, we were nervous because the owner was very stern about the $98k. But we held out faith knowing that if it was our house then everything would fall into place. We made a lower offer and she rejected it. That's all we could do at that point. So we waited 2 more weeks. We got a call from our realtor to see what was going on. We were waiting for more information from our lender.

It turns out that we were approved for 2k-3k in closing cost help. We already had the down-payment and closing cost money but were so appreciative of the extra help. So much so that we decided that we could offer $95k. So we did. She rejected and wanted $96,500. So we said we wouldn't ask for repair money and she finally agreed to our price of $95k! We were floored! She came down more then 10k from the most recent asking price within a month and a half. God is so good!

So when it all came together finally, our extra funds were applied to our loan and closing costs. At closing we paid $1,200.00 which almost $500 we got back 2 months later. (they over estimate)
And we had enough left to buy the appliances we needed and moving costs and paint. We were so so blessed!

It came to a loan for $93k at $735.00 a month and our homeowner's insurance only costing $45.00 per month. This is something we never dreamt possible. We never thought we'd be able to afford a mortgage. Turns out, when God's in it, ANYTHING is possible. I'm still in shock that we live here now. In this great big house with plenty of space. We love it here and it turns out to be the same price as living in our previously rented home. The electric bill and gas bills are less here then there.

The moral of my telling you this is - to not lose faith. God provides what we need, when we need it, even if it seems impossible. You can't get discouraged and stressed and give up. Stay focused with the mentality that you are going to be provided for regardless of what you really think you need. And if it is the right thing for you, all the details (big or small) will work out. And try not to put God on a timeline. It just makes it harder. It helps if you focus on what you do have and how you are blessed within that waiting period and just know that if it works out that you're life will be that more blessed.

Having faced this impossible feat and in going through this, I have learned more about God's love and provision and I have become extremely relaxed in Him. Whenever something happens I just have a peace that we will always be cared for. And I set no expectations for how. I just have faith.

I also must add, that when we take things into our own hands and make plans we get stressed out. When left to God you'll find a peace in your plans and they no longer just become your plans. It becomes the realization that God's plans for you will work out and may be better then you thought you could have. When working on your own, you short change yourself and are left with something you didn't actually want.

This is my entry for the day because we are blessed. And this story and our lives now and who i am now because of this experience, more then takes up 5 things for the day.

21 years

for these two.
21 years of being parents to 3 children.
(2 of which have turned out remarkable i might add)
11.5 years of being parents of 2 more children.
4.5 years of being grandparents to olivia.
nearly 2 years to liam.
and soon to two more...

6 years (i think) to breeding dogs.
21 years to demolishing and rebuilding
everything in sight.
5 years of being more relaxed.

1 year of trying to figure eachother out
and 20 years of my dad just letting her
do her thing and letting himself get
secretly sucked into her 'ideas' that she
starts and that turn into big projects for him.
someday, when he's old, he'll get it. maybe...

even though you two didn't start your journey
as married people with eachother i'm glad you
dumped your others and found eachother months
later and married 8 months after that...

think about it this way... i'm ok you didn't start out
together to make the first 3 of us. i like having a
full head of hair... see, things have a funny way
of turning out... i like to find the positive in
situations. oh, not to mention i had a terrible last
name. thanks for changing that for the 15 years i
used it....

you've made pretty great parents for the 5 of us.
despite what you may feel about the lost sheep.
you're loving and forgiving and supportive.
thank you.

i love you both very very much....

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

(not much of a 'together picture'.
stole it off facebook. but that's what they look like!
and why i look like i'm 17)

entry #139

Dear Family,

Thank you for so lovingly eating the crap I've been making for
dinner for the past week or so. I'm glad that you've 'enjoyed' it.

Dear Father-in-law Steve,

Thank you for donating to the youth of our church for baby-
sitting night on behalf of us and in hopes of giving us a date night.
We can't wait and are planning on a lovely dinner with some
friends from out of town. Looking forward to intelligent
conversations (minus what comes out of my mouth) and not
having to fight with little people to eat their food. The youth
can deal with that for Saturday night :)

Dear Liam,

Thanks for letting me hold you this morning while looking
out the window. You warm my heart with your words.
You are trying so hard to learn and you're
doing so well. I'm just not quite sure what you mean
when you are yelling and crying and throwing yourself
on the ground over something you may or may not
want to eat that I may or may not have. This morning
it was over bananas (i think) that I didn't have then after
agreeing on a bowl of cereal (with milk) you stole my
applesauce. (what i really wanted and now is gone)
That's how much I love you. Remember that.

Dear Olivia,

Thank you for your concert last night. You make a wonderful
rock star. You're going to go far. Well, maybe not too far since
you won't be dressing or acting like a skank. But we're your
biggest fans and have tons of faith in you as a conservative
rock star that will be dressed in turtle neck sweaters and
long pants. You might not have much to sing about though
as we will be keeping you within arms reach at all times and
possibly locked in your room till you're 30. (just kidding... kinda)

Dear Couch,

Thank you for being a source of comfort for the past 2 weeks
but I feel that it's time we parted ways. You are pushing the
baby farther and farther into my ribs as I sleep. However,
you are conveniently located next to the bathroom but I miss
my husband and I'm starting to miss sleep again. But if my
bed fails me again, I'll return into your waiting cushions.

entry #138

This past weekend was wonderfully relaxing. Just what we needed. It started off with a great family night on friday night. Playing games and coloring with the kids. Then Saturday Olivia got to go with her daddy and uncle to play frisbee golf. She has so much fun going places with her daddy. She always calls them their dates even if it's just to the store. I'm so thankful she has such a wonderful father that will always be there for her. And now he'll have three women in his life to love and spoil ;)

After that we lounged around and finally got ready to go to my husband's parent's house to hang out with them before his brothers and mom headed out on the road again. It was fun and my brother in law made us nachos!! Exactly what I was craving. Then we went bowling. I got a 123! I was so proud of myself but it tired me out and I knew only one game was enough for me. Had I played again my score would have been much much lower. Not to mention our son was running around like a crazy person.

On Sunday we went to church after a hectic morning trying to get out the door. My son decided to throw his cereal all over our dining room and his sister and his hair. So in the bath he went.

At church, I realized I hadn't really felt the baby at all that morning and then she started doing something weird in her chest and it made me nervous. After talking with my midwife I decided to wait it out.

We went home afterwards and just snuggled and watched the kids' shows. Best sunday in a long time!
I made some nasty spaghetti that my family all loved but me. This baby hates pastas! Before we ate I had taken my iron and 30 mins. later took two more pills forgetting I had already taken it and by 8 I was not feeling too hot. I was having dizzy spells and was weak and my heart was racing. Jess said I went pale. I called my awesome midwife (after a day of calling her about the baby's movements) and she suggested I drink a glass of milk. ICK! I was gagging at the thought of it while Jess was getting it for me. I drank it slowly as not to throw it up and it actually worked. I guess the milk counter reacts the iron pills. I felt SOOOOO much better and soon after baby Faye began to move regularly and all was well. I was peaceful and fell asleep in jess' arms... until 30 mins later when I had to wake up to pee. Then I had to send him to bed (i've been sleeping on the couch for better comfort with my heartburn and rib problem) because he was snoring and twitching and I cannot fall asleep to that. Poor guy. I get it from my mom! Blame her. :)

All in all we had a wonderful weekend of reconnecting as a family and now I'm sad the week has started. But, Olivia and I have declared this a day of being lazy and snuggling and watching movies and reading books. So I can't complain :) we just miss our man....

entry #137

1. seeing on the Today show yesterday that they are
setting up the ice rink at Rockefeller and then going to
walmart last night and discovering that egg nog is
already on the shelves!!! made me very happy!

2. jenny (a girl that works with my husband) bringing
over left overs from a pot roast she'd made for dinner
last night. it was amazing and happened to be my
craving!

3. having an uncle-in-law for a chiropractor. he's
really good and helped some of my aches and pains
today. and i must mention my awesome aunt
that helped keep my kids occupied.

4. my husband taking care of me yesterday even
when he wasn't feel well either.

5. getting the house sprayed today for spiders and other
crawling things. :)

Miley Cyrus!

interested in going to her concert this saturday
in milwaukee???

i have up to 5 tickets for sale!

email me if you want more info.
i have them listed on ebay here and here.

entry #136

1. having a great birthday dinner celebrating dustin
and amy and just hanging out with family

2. being over 34 weeks now! weird.

3. how great of a man i have for a husband and
father of our kids. we're pretty lucky to have him.

4. re-planning our girl's weekend with my mom
and sisters to just hang out and shop! can't wait.

5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORI!
thank you for gracing my life with your presence.
you're a great friend and a blessing to me.

entry #135

Dear Abram,

I'm so glad that you have finally arrived. You are so
adorable and your mommy and daddy and about
100 other people love you so much! Welcome to
this 'whole new world'.

(a little inside humor)

Dear Life,

You are so precious and should never be taken for
granted. I'm sorry that you are and wasted or
tossed aside. Every life (saved or not) is precious
to our Father and we should not forget that.

Dear quiet moments with great people in great conversation,

You are few and far between but I cherish them.
It's wonderful to get to know people you already
know even better by sharing from the heart.

Dear Faye,

Holding little Abram made me so excited to hold you!
I must admit though, the 6 weeks I have left seems
so surreal! Now I'm just full of curiosity as to when
and how you'll come. I'm believing in a wonderful
labor and delivery and focusing on getting the
experience I'm believing for. God is good! But I do know
that no matter the outcome, I'll have you and that's
what is important! Mommy loves you! Enjoy the little
time you have left in there! I can tell you're feeling
crowded though. Sorry about that. Mommy doesn't
get very big for swimming room.

Dear Amy and Dustin and Olivia,

Happy birthday to Amy and Dustin (yesterday) and
happy half birthday to our Olivia! Oh and a
big happy birthday to baby Abram! I'm so glad
that you've all graced my life with your presence.