My last post was the beginning to something greater that I hadn't fully understood... Until about 5 days ago...
God brought us here over a year ago. It has been an incredible journey thus far and a HUGE walk of faith. Being away from everything we've ever known hasn't been easy but it has been good for us all. We are happier. We are stronger. We are better for it. Stepping out in faith has blessed us in ways that we could have never imagined. And we are so so grateful that we get to be a part of His journey for us and that we didn't say 'no' to Him.
That being said... We've been in limbo for the past few months. We own a home back in IL still and we thought it would be sold to the people that had been renting it. We knew the sale would happen in 2 years but they approached us earlier. However, the sale didn't go through and they moved out. It was something that we were not expecting. So then we started to think that perhaps our time here, in CA, was drawing to a close and He'd be calling us back home in the next year. And that was something that we were ok with. I say that with great reserve. We had actually said that it didn't sound appealing and we'd rather be sent to another country before having to go back there... Just trying to be honest!
Being in IL means more money, our family, our friends, and our house. And that, to most, sounds appealing. And it did to us but we've done that. We've been there. And having all that was nice but we felt stuck. There isn't a big future in web design there and although my husband could go back with the job he's currently working and work remote, there isn't a creative environment there like there is here.
So, anyways, we've been in limbo. We were feeling called to be present in the now and bloom where we are planted. But we couldn't do that with this Plan B in the back of our minds. The 'what if's'.
We've been asking the Lord to give us clarity and direction. In this past week, we feel like He really has. We aren't ones to make decisions until we hear Him. We feel, by not making plans, it leaves the doors open to whatever He wants to do. However, holding on to Plan B was holding on to a plan. A fall-back. And that was keeping us from being fully present. Fully invested.
God has a plan for us being here. It's more than Jess' career. It's for our family. For ministry opportunities we wouldn't find elsewhere. For friendships like we've never quite experienced before. And we are happy. Truly happy. And we've grown and learned so much. Yes, going home makes sense logically and financially. But, I'd rather be a part of God's plan than to be financially stable and in our comfort zone of having family nearby. God's plan isn't logical. When has it ever been? He's asking us to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. He's asking us to take a leap of faith and join Him in His plan.
I now feel like stepping out in faith to move here was us just getting our feet wet. And I've been in awe of people that jump in with both feet hitting the ground running. I wanted to have that kind of devotion to God's plan. And I thought we had but there has been something missing. Something holding us back. And it is that Plan B.
Last Sunday night we were blessed by a couple we've formed an instant bond with. They see something in us and our family. And they are both so encouraging and biblically sound. They aren't afraid to hold back. And I so appreciate that. And through their friendship and our conversations, God has stirred up a desire to minister with them in the future. A desire we didn't see coming. So we went home in awe of God and His timing and feeling so encouraged with having had some possible direction from the Lord.
That night I had a dream. Jess and I were in our old house. (in IL) He and I were walking around with complete peace. We were thankful for the time we had had there but felt closure that it was not our home anymore. There was a big opening on the side of the house and the word 'unfinished' kept coming to mind. I remember telling a guy to be sure and close that up and finish it. I woke up that morning to a very very sweet text from the woman who will be renting from us. It just encouraged us even more that we were making the right decision and that we needed to finish the unfinished. Whatever that meant...
On Wednesday morning I woke up and did the last day of the bible study 'Discerning the Voice of God'. She was talking about being fully committed to doing what He's asking us to do. (The whole study was dedicated to that and our pastor's series has been about stepping out in faith. Go figure!) Anyways, the beginning story to day 5 of our last week was about Hernando Cortes. The Spanish conqueror of Mexico. In March of 1519 he arrived at the destination. He and his 600 men on their 11 ships. The men were tired and he knew they wanted to return home. But, to prevent thoughts of retreat, he burned the ships. He was fully committed to the task at hand. He was so dedicated that he annihilated all options for escape. Boy, did that speak to me! He was so dedicated that he literally burned Plan B.
Now, I don't think God is calling us to burn down our house but I do think He's asking us to make a decision. To mentally and emotionally burn our Plan B and to be fully present and invested in His plan. In doing so we feel at peace. A peace that we haven't had for some time.
So, if you haven't guessed yet, we have made a decision... A decision to stay in CA. I know that this isn't going to be easy news for a lot of you. Especially for family. But it's something that we know the Lord is asking us to do. So we know that He will comfort all of those sad feelings for all of us. It isn't easy being away from any of you and we miss you all terribly but we know that we'd rather be a part of God's plan than our plan for our own comforts. We have decided to share this news now so all of you can process and just enjoy our time that we will have together over Thanksgiving. We would appreciate your love and support and any encouragement you can muster up.
We are staying. We are going to be fully invested and present. We are going to bloom where He has planted us. And we are so excited to see all He's going to do. It feels so great to say!
