What I re-learned today: Motherhood

While I'm on the subject of the Holy Spirit, let me tell you about my day.

It started off well. The kids and I went to bible study. Afterwards we went to lunch. They all did well. Baby was a little spastic but I managed. We went to a few different stores but after the first one, my patience was already beginning to wear thin. Then I took them to Hobby Lobby. Breakable city. Luckily nothing was broken but I was definitely feeling some anxiety. After that I decided to run in to one more store. By now the heat had risen. I was hot and sweaty. The kids were getting tired. But I thought, "Hey! I should surprise the kids and take them to a movie!"

This was a bad idea. And I knew it. I heard the Holy Spirit telling me not to do it. But, as I often do, I thought to myself, "Ain't nothing horrible gonna happen today!" (said in my best southern-drawl)

And so, like an idiot, I took them. I was already snippy and irritable but I took them thinking it'd help the day and that I'd get into my fun happy mom-mode. Little did I know that everything would not turn out as I had planned in my mind.

So... I load the baby's carseat onto the stroller (just like Michelle Duggar. thank you very much) with much difficulty. In the heat. And with kids spilling out of the van before I was ready for them. (Any mom that has more then one kid should understand this frustration) So, while I'm trying to watch them, I'm trying to get her handle over the stroller. It finally works. We go into the theater.

The kids are touching all of the fun arcade stuff while I'm getting the tickets and ordering food. Which is fine but I have a lot of kids and trying to watch them, other people around them, and the baby, and focus on what I'm doing is very hard. I finally hand off the ridiculously large drink to Olivia and we walk towards the theater rooms.

Of course I forgot about the flight of stairs you have to walk down to get to the theater. Getting the stroller down was awkward and I'm sure unsafe but I did it. Only to have my children, who all suffer with selective hearing, not open the doors for me. Finally Liam does and a poor passerby I nearly run over.

We find our seats and by now the baby was hungry so I had to feed her yogurt and applesauce. In the dark. She freaked out and made a mess and wanted out. I get her out and hold her.

So, as I'm trying to battle keeping her in my arms so she doesn't crawl on the disgusting floor, Faye gets stuck in the seat. Literally trapped in the seat. It closed on her because she doesn't weigh enough. So I rescue her. In the dark. Baby in arm.

Next Liam tells me he has to pee. "Right now!" So I tell Faye to sit with Olivia and I'll be right back. She freaks out and starts telling me loudly that she wants to go too. So, I agree and tell Olivia to stay put and I'll be right back. I take all three to the bathroom. Liam needs help still cause he's short but I can't help because I'm holding Everly. I send him into the stall confident that he can manage. Of course he can't. He has to touch the entire toilet trying to climb it. (I have a toilet phobia and I had hoped that our many trips to the bathroom and my many words of instruction of proper toilet usage would have imbedded into his head.) Nope. Of course not. So I instruct him just to stand and get it done. He does. We all wash up because Faye decided that the floor was fun to play with. (I should note that this is a run-down 1$ theater)
Anyways. We make it back into the movie and find our seats. We sit. Baby is still fighting me to crawl. Faye is whining about popcorn and the drink. I help her. Liam starts yelling. He hadn't been sitting with his legs out but rather under him so the chair claimed it's second victim and swallowed his leg. I have to lift him out (while holding the baby) but his leg was really stuck. After some tugging his leg finally gives and comes out of his shoe. So then I have to dig and maneuver his shoe out. I do. He sits. We all sit. Baby starts getting even more wiggly. Faye gets more whiny. The movie finally ends and we leave. But I have to get the stroller up those blasted stairs. I recruit Olivia to help. She does. We make it up and out to the van. Only to have the car seat attach itself to the stroller and refuse to budge. So, again with Olivia's help, we get it off safely with baby strapped in.

By this time I'm really worn out. I was trying to do something so fun for my kids that turned into a stressful disaster. I should've known better. The perfect storm had been brewing all day- I'm on day 2 of flying solo. Been out all day. Went to lots of places. Baby had no nap and was hungry. It was hot. I have had a bad migraine all day. Etc.

We left with the intention of stopping at one more store but by the time the exit came up, I just passed it. I just needed to get home. So we got home and we all got settled in. Everyone re-grouped. I made dinner and we enjoyed our evening. However, I was still irritable and so it wasn't as pleasant as I had wanted. I wasn't as patient as I like. I wasn't responding with as much grace as I try to. I hurried them off to bed early with prayers, hugs, and kisses hoping that that would fix it. Nope. Putting kids to bed before they're tired is dumb. At this age. After 2 hours of fighting with them to stay in bed and be quiet, they are finally asleep. And now I am reflecting on a day gone wrong. Wishing I had listened to the Spirit trying to guide me. He knows what my limits are. He knows what I can handle in a day. Taking my kids to a movie spontaneously was not it.

I know this. I know that He's always right. But I try and convince myself that it'll be fine. Never fails that I am wrong. This is always my thought process - Holy Spirit saying 'no! bad idea!' - me hearing and acknowledging - me thinking that I just thought it because something bad could happen and so it must be that fear telling me not to, not the Holy Spirit - me replaying that clip from Dewey Cox (ain't nothin horrible gonna happen today) - me going for it thinking that all will be fine because God will make it fine and that I'm just being dumb and that He couldn't possibly care about me taking the kids to a movie (or whatever He's advising against)

This happens all the time. And it's the littlest things sometimes too. But He knows! He knows what we can handle and what is going to bring the best outcome for everyone involved. In most cases, for me, it's times like this where I become frustrated and spent and my kids get the butt of that attitude. This may seem small and it is but I'm writing it as a lesson for myself. To remember. To learn from today. To make a mental note to listen to the Holy Spirit. I hope you can get something out of my crazy day too!

I am ready for a new day. Thank goodness for such loving and forgiving children! That's the funny thing about children... They are quick to forgive and forget and love. I wonder why God says we should be like them.... ;-)

Goodnight!