How many times do we, as moms, look at what another mom is doing and are left feeling inadequate and less than? How many times do we see people doing something amazing and we are left thinking that our lives are less than? How many times are we left feeling like we're not good enough because we don't look like her or dress like her? How many times do we rob ourselves of the life God planned for us because we're so busy looking at what everyone else has and not at what we have?
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Keonig | |
This is something that has been on my mind. I read the book, 'One Thousand Gifts' and finally finished it over the weekend. In it, the author concludes that a true relationship with God (where we trust Him and believe that He is good no matter what) comes when we dare to look around with eyes of faith and a heart of thanksgiving. To look for and be thankful for all of the ways God shows His love for us. As a result we are left filled to the brim with happiness and wholeness which spills out into the world around us. It's a matter of simply realizing that, while our lives may not look like another's, it is tailor-made for who God created us to be. He knows what truly speaks to our hearts and if we are looking for it we'll see it all around us.
But... What if your life doesn't look like what you think it should? Here's a simple question. Is what you think you need based on His truth or on what you think you need because of what your neighbor has or the traditions of this world?
I strongly believe that God places us in our lives because He knows that we are capable. He's offering all the tools to help us! How many times do we doubt that because it goes against what we have known to be 'right'? How many times do we doubt that because we don't think we're strong enough? Because we think that what He is asking us to do is too hard or a mistake?
Let me use a personal example.
I had our first child right before I turned 21. (My husband and I had been married a little over a year.) Her first year was very difficult for me. I was dancing with the devil and he was winning. He made me feel so low. So useless. I was trapped in a bubble of discontent and misery because I thought that my life wasn't what it should be. Not that I regretted my daughter. That's not it at all. It was because I thought that I wasn't good enough. That we weren't good enough. That we weren't providing enough. That we weren't doing it right. I was believing the lie that I was too young to do it all and have it all.
At some point I had to make a decision. I could either keep using the excuse that I was too young or I could let go of that handicap and let God do His thing. He wasn't saying that I was too young. He was trying to tell me that I was more than good enough and more than qualified. He blessed me with motherhood at a young age because He knew that, with Him, I was good enough to do the job and to do it well. He was giving me all that I needed. Would I listen? Would I accept His plan over what I thought was better?
You have to remember that God created the world, animals, man, love, relationship, healthy food, the sky, heaven, hell.... We created everything else. Buildings. Traditions. School. Careers. Money. Bad food. Houses. Cars. Statuses. Shopping. Clothes. Everything that we think we need to be happy, more times than none, was conceived by man. Traditions were born. A way of living was created. All God ever asked us to do was to trust Him, obey His word, love one another, and live. He would take care of the rest.
We seem to think that we aren't smart enough if we don't finish college and build a thriving career. We don't think that we are financially blessed until we see a large amount in our savings account. We don't think that we are providing enough until we've surpassed what some of our neighbors have. We don't think that we are pretty enough until we look like the model on the cover of a magazine. We don't think that our marriages are good enough because they don't look like other people's. We don't think that our weddings were good enough because they happened before pinterest. If you are looking for it, you'll always find discontentment. Nothing will ever be good enough until you accept the life God has given you.
I am now the mother of 4 children. I am still young. I am immensely happy and incredibly blessed. But, given my circumstances in light of the world's view, I can wallow in self-pity and think to myself that my life isn't good enough because I didn't finish college or because we don't have a huge savings account or because I'm 'just' a stay-at-home-mom. OR I can thank the Lord for how far He has brought me. I can accept the life that the Lord has given me with thanksgiving because He chose me to be the mother of my 4 wonderful children. He knew that I was capable. And I don't have to just go through the motions of motherhood's mundane tasks, I can thrive!
How can a stay-at-home-mom of 4 thrive in the mundane? By keeping my heart focused on God. By training my eyes and heart and mind to look for His blessings in the everyday. To accept His love and forgiveness.
Which brings me to another point.
*There are so many times that I've yelled at my kids and felt so bad that it hindered me from moving on. I would think to myself that I wasn't good enough and that I was beyond His help. I would think to myself that I just have to try harder to be more perfect the next time. But I was already feeling defeated. How can you truly be better if you're already feeling defeated? Little did I know that the answer to my desire to be more perfect wouldn't come from perfection but rather from accepting His love and forgiveness for me. I stopped asking God to change my heart and attitude and started asking Him to show me how much He loved me. Asking Him to change me caused me to look at myself as incomplete. Asking Him to show me how much He loved me caused me to look at myself as whole and my life as whole. Therefore I feel... Happy. Content. Alive. And better than all, I know that I am right where I am supposed to be in this season of life. I am a stay-at-home-mom of 4 children. At the end of the each day, I have everything I need. We are never hungry. We always have a roof over our heads. Our bills are always paid. We always have enough. It may not be up to par with the world's standards but it's enough. And that is good enough for me.
When we realize how much He loves us, our hearts begin to change. Our attitudes are improved. Our happiness and contentment overflow to our children. Our spouses. And the world around us. Suddenly the grass, on our side of the fence, is greener.
*- I will explain this huge revelation later. I'm hoping that it will help all of you moms as much as it did me.
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