pulled in all directions...

Everyone needs something... Something always needs done. Nothing is ever finished.

I brought into this world most of the things that need me to do something.

I am always giving and giving... I rarely receive. Most days, that's ok. But lately, I feel buried by everything I should be doing and everything I'm not doing well enough.

I'm screaming out inside and trying to save myself from being completely eaten alive by life.

There are too many things that scream for my attention all at once that I find myself unable to function and just barely getting by.

At the end of the day I have so many regrets...

My own thoughts are eating me alive. I am trying to save myself. I feel in over my head.

Alone in some ways...

I'm the only one it all relies on and yet I can't really turn to anyone.

I wouldn't have it any other way. My life that is...

I just want to figure out how to live it better and turn my mind off more. I don't want to be pulled in all directions to the point of immobility anymore...

I want to enjoy the little things and not think of everything else that also needs my attention...

I want to accomplish the things I want to ignore without thinking about what I'm missing out on...

I want to enjoy life and at the end of the day I want to feel like I tried my best, and be happy with the result.

I want to know that I am good enough. I want to feel it.

My standards are much too high though... I fear I will never know that feeling...

I've had recent glimpses and I've liked what I've seen.

I read once that it takes 11 days to form a habit. Doesn't work for me. It takes a mind-blowing realization...

Waiting for that to happen...

Tomorrow is coming. I'm exhausted already. But I'm gonna put on a brave face and fight this battle.

I must remind myself that I am not alone. HE cares for the same things I do. HE will renew me. In HIM I can find strength and validation...

I am off to find it!

But first I must sleep... Tomorrow is a new day!










Sorry all. Another wordy late night post.
I hope this makes sense in the morning...

- posted via my iPhone