Today marks day four of being trapped inside by The Great Ice Storm of 2010. Our power has stayed on, and we are so truly grateful for that as tens of thousands of others in our part of Oklahoma have been without power for days. We have, however, discovered this life truth: a DirecTV dish covered with ice is not so great with the reception.
We've played a lot, we've made up games and played crab walk tag. We've colored pictures and worked over soft dough and danced and read. But sometimes a mama needs a break. TV isn't an option, so yesterday I dug around in our movie bin for entertainment/relief.
At the back of the movie bin, I found the special release two-disc DVD of Disney's The Little Mermaid. I purchased it several years ago, just giddy at the idea of watching my all-time favorite Disney animated film with my girls. I had to swallow quite a bit of disappointment when Dacey consistently chose doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-Dora over Ariel, Flounder, Sebastian, et al. Recently however, both girls have taken a liking to the Disney princess crew, so I figured I would give it another try.
Sure enough, the eyes of both girls glazed over as they became entranced by the curvy red-haired mermaid with the enchanting voice. Dacey looked at me with shock and awe when I sang along word-for-word with Ariel's song "Part of Your World." I found myself enjoying the movie so much that I posted this as my Facebook status update:
Today I'm reminded that The Little Mermaid is Disney's best soundtrack EVER!
And noted as an afterthought:
Although I have to admit I'm not 100% in love with message it's sending my daughters.
You know, the more I have thought about it, the more concerned I've become about the message of The Little Mermaid. And now I've become concerned about becoming concerned about the message of The Little Mermaid.
I've been known to roll my eyes in the most subtle, imperceptible, and polite way possible when I've heard other mothers of little girls talk about Barbie bans in their home, and I nearly choked on my coffee the first time I heard a mom mention how highly sexualized the Disney princesses are. I guess somewhere deep within, the little girl who amassed a big-time Barbie collection and who has been to Disney World four times heaves a big sigh and mutters under her breath lighten up, y'all.
Perhaps it's because I'm smack-dab in the middle of Vicki Courtney's study called Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter
1) Ariel really is drawn to be sexy. There is no denying that. I suppose it would be hard for a mermaid to be anything other than sexy, what with the bikini top and all, but Ariel is curvy and her red hair flounces around her ravishingly, and then there are those big ol' doe eyes.
2) The song lyrics, though delightfully crafted, carry a really questionable message. Consider the exchange between Ariel and Ursula as Ursula convinces her to trade her voice for legs. Ariel's plight, you remember, is to make Prince Eric fall in love with her in three days (Bachelor, anyone?). She wonders, "But without my voice, how can I . . .?" and Ursula instructs, "You'll have your looks, your pretty face, and don't underestimate the importance of body language!" and goes on to sing
The men up there don't like a lot of blabberIt's she who holds her tongue who gets her man!
Wait. What the what? And yes, yes. I totally know and understand that Ursula is the bad guy, er, bad girl or bad sea creature. The villain. You aren't supposed to believe what she says. I, an adult, I get that. My grasp on abstract thought is fully matured. But Piaget reminds us that a child doesn't even begin to mature into mastering abstract thought until she is around twelve years old.
Hmmmmmmm.
3) As Dacey watched, she told me, "Hey mom! Guess what? Ariel is sixteen!" Sixteen and trying to win the heart of the prince.
4) Kiss the girl. It's the most charming song in the entire movie, right? The melody, the harmonies, the collected voices of the creatures of the deep led by the smooth-as-silk baritone - it's the Pièce de résistance of the entire show. And tucked right into that sweet little romantic song is Sebastian suggesting this to Prince Eric:
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl
I wonder how Dacey and Aliza Joy's daddy would feel if a young man who wants one of his daughters took Sebastian's advice to determine if she wants him, too.
5) Okay, even if you've just been skimming along until this point (who can blame you?), stop here.
The one message that bothered me the most about The Little Mermaid is this: when Ursula is persuading Ariel to become a human and go after Prince Eric, Ariel says, "But if I become a human, I'll never be with my father and sisters and again!" to which Ursula purrs in response, "But, you'll have your man!"
That? Crawled into my thoughts and bothered me. As much as I would like to sit here and say, "Oh, I've watched that movie dozens of times - and all of the other Disney movies, too! - and I turned out okay!"
But here's a little truth about me. From the time I was a freshman in high school until the day I got married (three days shy of 21), I was never without a boyfriend for more than three months. My adolescence was one long quest to get my man. And to keep him. I gave very little regard to who was left hurting in my wake - family or friends - as long as I got my man.
I'm not blaming Disney or their animated musicals. I am self-aware enough to realize that a complex and complicated set of circumstances and history and predisposition all worked together to shape the young woman I became and the choices I made.
But it has all been enough to give me one long pause. Am I ready for my five year old to start dreaming of romance? Do I want her to have even the slightest exposure to the get-your-man-at-all-costs approach to relationships?
Is it all just harmless fun and I need to step away from the paranoia?
Or is it really just that in the past few days I've had too much coffee and too little fresh air?
I don't know the answer to any of this, but I sure would love to hear your thoughts.
